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created about 1 year ago | Tagged: |
Sally
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The televisions that are going to be invading our living rooms in 2012, the ones that Samsung and LG and the rest have been trotting out this week at CES? They're the most exciting gadgets of the year, and not because of any apps or gimmicks or third dimensions being shoved down our throats. In fact, they're wonderful in spite of all that.
The TVs of last year were boring and reliant on cheap tricks. They were supposed to be smart—which translated to awful glitchy menus we didn't need and a heap of apps we already had. They were so 3D—which meant bulky eyewear, sore retinas, and sparse content. 3D is a dud, mostly, and "smart" TVs have been garbage, entirely. Companies decided TVs weren't about watching things on TV. Companies really screwed up. TV had lost its way. TV was boring. TV is back. This year's TVs tout the pointless features of the past, yes. But the off-key bells and whistles are an afterthought. Why? We're too busy gawking at how fabulously amazing the pictures are.
OLED, 4k, Crystal Display, 8k. A supernova of new technologies that aren't trying to make you tweet while you're watching 3D Scooby Doo. This new wave of displays are pointed at one thing: looking good. Pornographically good. Samsung, LG, and Sony aren't trying to make your life better, easier, or more connected. These screens exist for one reason only: to stroke your eyeballs with stupidly sharp pictures, stratospheric HD resolutions, and colors that look so realistic, you might literally want to have sex with an LCD panel. Teensy-thin levitating rainbow portals into another dimension. Our Casey Chan had the world's first ocular ejaculation.
